Posts tagged life

In Loving Memory: My Greatest Spiritual Teacher

[Reblogging my sister, Rebecca, on a special day of remembrance] 

If you’re a regular OG reader, you may recall that my grandmother was a very influential person in my life. Sadly, she passed away one year ago today. At the time, I made no mention of it. However, on the one-year anniversary of her death, I’d like to celebrate her life by sharing an adapted version of the eulogy I gave in her honor. You don’t need to know my Vavo to enjoy who she was or what she represented. Namely: love.

Rita made you laugh … She made you feel special.  She made you feel important.  She made you soup.  She baked you bread.  She made a room brighter, a meal taste better, and guests always feel welcome.  When my brother, Reece, and I were little, we looked forward to “pajama parties” with our Vavo. In hindsight, these were simply nights when Vavo would visit and sleep at our house.  We didn’t play exciting games, make popcorn, or watch movies.  Vavo was the party, and today, we gather to celebrate her.

My grandmother’s life spanned 77 years and two countries.  She had 13 siblings, a beloved husband, 4 children, 33 nieces and nephews (and that’s a conservative tally because those nieces and nephews had children … and their children had children … you get the idea), 6 godchildren, 8 grandchildren, and 1 great-grandchild.  This is a large family by any standard, and yet, Vavo had plenty more love to spare—for friends, neighbors, the church she attended, the kitchens in which she occasionally worked, and most recently, the nursing home where she lived.  Wherever Vavo went, the family expanded.

She made you laugh … made you feel special … made you feel important.  Life looked like fun if you were Rita.  It looked busy and boisterous and uncomplicated and kind.  My cousins Heather and Michelle remember once, as kids, when the allure was too much.  They wanted to be like their Vavo.  And, on one particular night, Vavo caught the two little girls making “sweet bread” on their grandmother’s bed using baby powder (which—you have to hand it to them—is a creative stand-in for flour).

To make a meal or gift for someone, with your own hands, whether small and common or intricate and inspired, is an honor and a joy.  Many of us learned this from Rita.  When I was seven, she made me a white dress for my First Communion and at 17, one for high school graduation. Even when her mind wandered relentlessly and her speech became clumsy, as in her final days, her hands were often still going through the motions of sewing, folding a hem with precision, knitting a scarf, crocheting a tablecloth, or mending a button.  This is how she wanted to pass her time, and I believe it’s where her tired mind felt most at ease.  Mother Theresa once said, “There are no great things—only small things done with great love.” Nowhere was this more evident than in my Vavo’s actions and approach to life.

Rita spoke often of a concept she called her “best life,” which she would tell you was comprised of many “million dollar days.”  These had nothing to do with money, of course.  It was her way of communicating life’s emotional currency—days that were easily worth a million dollars for the joy, laughter, and simple pleasures they contained.  These days included many of you (and many other family and friends living overseas or unable to attend today).  Most likely, they entailed feeding you … whether you were hungry or not … They also contained other things that Rita enjoyed, such as: rising early, a first shot of espresso; music, preferably played in the kitchen, to which she could sing along, to the tune of a simmering panella on the stove.  On a million dollar day, she might go to church or the fabric store.  Delight in a brimming fruit bowl on the dining table because she liked to look at pineapples and think of her family’s farms in the Azores.  Maybe she’d indulge in a pair of well-made Portuguese or, possibly Italian, leather shoes or a simple peanut butter sandwich.  She’d wear a fine scarf and, perhaps, a rain hat.  She liked rain hats.  She also liked a second shot of espresso and 2-3 more throughout the day.  To you, this might sound like a lot—but they are so small, she would tell you!  She’d shower her family with kisses and embraces and relish unannounced company.  For some people, the thought of entertaining houseguests without advanced notice is utterly anxiety producing.  Not Rita.  Her children recall always being able to bring anyone home, anytime.  Whether it was one friend or seven, there was always enough food and good cheer to go around.

I hope you’ll permit my saying this, but while it might have been Jesus Christ who invented the trick of turning a single fish into enough to feed a village … My Vavo could do that too.

Yet, she didn’t feed our bellies as much as she filled out hearts, which leaves us to wonder: What will we do now?

We’ll honor her spirit in all the ways that she taught us.  We’ll make each other laugh.  Make each other feel special.  Make each other feel important.  We’ll think of Rita when we bake bread or make soup or delight in doting on our children and grandchildren, nieces and nephews.  We’ll talk to her in our prayers and sing to her in the kitchen.  We’ll marvel at the beauty of hydrangeas, a signature flower of the Azores, the sweetness of pineapple, and the crisp feel of an expertly tailored piece of clothing, remembering her appreciation for these small pleasures.  We’ll maintain a sense of playfulness regardless of our age and accept people for who they are, regardless of anything but the content of their hearts.  We’ll do small things, with great love, as often as we can, and we’ll live our best lives.

My Vavo was my best friend, a trusted ear, an open heart, and the cornerstone of my faith.  She often reminded me, “Habecca, God don’t sleep” and helped me to understand how this could be true.  And while Rita’s body is at rest, I know that her spirit isn’t sleeping.  (Maybe because it’s hopped up on espresso).  It’s with us here today and always.

striving for a perfect game

[delayed post. pretend it’s 2 weeks ago…]

On Sunday I participated in my 3rd Falmouth Sprint Triathlon (and 4th Tri ever), but stay with me here, because this post is not just about triathlons. It’s also about what I watched on TV Sunday afternoon and startups… 

In my first triathlon, I blew a tire with 2 miles left in the bike leg, so I ran it in and finished in ~1h7m. My 2nd time I actually knew what I was getting into and cut my time to ~1h1m (but I was docked 2m for a penalty, which to this day goes unexplained). Oh well.

But this year, I had a good race. No big issues. I’m finally figuring these things out. Here are my results:

SWIM - 1/3mi :: Time: 6:58 :: Rank: 159 :: Transition 1: 2:19

My time wasn’t great (I love the ocean, but I don’t swim enough and I don’t have great technique. I’m used to having a surf-board underneath me), but it wasn’t terrible either. My rank, out of ~800 racers is decent, but the difference between me and most people is a matter of seconds, maybe a couple minutes. Not huge.

What killed me is the transition time. Easily the worst time out of the top 35. Maybe I shouldn’t wear my surfing wetsuit which doesn’t come off as easy as a tri-suit… maybe I shouldn’t wear one at all? Maybe I just need to be faster. Point is, something needs fixing. Dang. On to the bike… 

BIKE - 9mi :: Time: 24:31 :: Rank: 15th :: Transition 2: 1:33

15th! I knew I had a solid ride, but I’m the 3rd owner of a bike I bought on Craigslist and use for commuting in NYC while most racers are on $X000(0!) carbon fiber tri bikes. Regardless, I crushed it… but again, that transition time. Ugh… I could buy the fancy tri shoes with the drawstring laces, but does that really matter? 

RUN - 3.1mi :: Time: 21:20  :: Rank: 33 

Meh… like… really meh. The run is usually where I make up some time, but I felt a sharp cramp as soon as I started and it spooked me. I paced myself the rest of the way and didn’t turn on the after-burners soon enough. I’m guessing it was the hard biking that got me.

Total Time: 56:42 :: 35th overall :: 6th in my division

All in all, a solid performance given how little time I’ve had to train for this thing, but I said this wasn’t about triathlons so let me try to reach for significance here… 

Looking back on the race now, I can point to many small things that would’ve saved me some time here or there. Individually, nothing that would’ve guaranteed me a spot on the podium, but combined and I’d be in the running to go home with some hardware (or in the case of a race in a small seaside town… a buoy).

Then, while waiting for the Women’s World cup to come on TV, I caught coverage of the 2010 Ironman Triathlon in Hawaii. (Relevant, much?) In it, Craig Alexander was top dog, set to win his 3rd in a row. He even raced his fastest time ever on that course… but he didn’t win. He didn’t even place. How do you explain that?

Truth is, you can’t point to one single thing (like a crash) and say “there, that’s the reason.” He just wasn’t as fast as the other guys that particular day.

Then… USA vs. Japan in the Women’s World Cup. USA suffers a heartbreaking loss in penalty kicks after hitting countless pipes, missing crosses and seemingly dominating the first half. Can you point to Hope Solo [the US goalkeeper] and say “You lost it for us. Right there, you should’ve made that save.”? No fucking way.

That’s the beauty of sports and that’s the beauty of life. There are myriad ways for any given scenario to fan out and there are henceforth endless possibilities from every stroke, every footfall, every play.

So how does one win? 

I’ll be honest, I still don’t know. If I had the answer for that, I wouldn’t be writing this post [I’d be saying this], but there is one thought that keeps coming back to me in regards to these highly competitive scenarios…

You have to strive for a ‘perfect game.’

It’s nearly impossible to achieve, but if you don’t, you’ll never put yourself in a position to succeed. Your competition certainly isn’t going to let you win. In the case of Craig Alexander, he probably thought “oh, I’ll catch those guys.” U.S. Women’s soccer? Got a goal and backed off. Tie game. Got another and backed off again… tie game. Ugh… 

By now, you’ve probably already made the jump and figured out how this relates to startups. There are a million things working against you and your startup. Your job is to eliminate those risks and TRY to play a perfect game, to keep hustling, to execute on your vision… 

Well… not to ruin the surprise here, but you’re not going to play a perfect game. In reality you’re probably going to play the ugliest, scrappiest, hardest-hitting game around. You’re going to have a bad transition time. You’re going to let in a bad goal… but you’re going to keep playing, one way or another, and you’ll love it… because that’s why you play the game.

“Like all revolutions, this is an opportunity, not a solution, not a guarantee.”

thanks to the Reeder iPhone app, i’m using RSS again… which means i’m reading Seth Godin again.

given my current position - founder of a startup that sees nothing but opportunity ahead - and my recent visits to my alma mater to speak to current students and to TechStars Boston to advise current teams, these quotes from Godin’s post “The Opportunity Is Here” really resonated with me…

Most of all is this: every individual, self-employed or with a boss, is now more in charge of her destiny than ever before. The notion of a company town or a stagnant industry with little choice is fading fast…

¡Note! Like all revolutions, this is an opportunity, not a solution, not a guarantee. It’s an opportunity to poke and experiment and fail and discover dead ends on the way to making a difference. The old economy offered a guarantee—time plus education plus obedience = stability. The new one, not so much. The new one offers a chance for you to take a chance and make an impact.

i love Godin’s line here, because it’s so true. the game has changed (and will continue to do so) and the real winners will be the people who adapt and evolve in the new world. there is tons of value to be created in the chaos of the world. embrace it!

so when speaking to a student group the other day, i rattled off a thousand stories and sound-bites, but really i tried to impart upon them a few things which resonate with Godin’s post…

1. everything’s going to be ok. [don’t freak out if you don’t have a job yet.]
2. pursue opportunities, especially those off the beaten path, and don’t shy away from the associated risk. embrace it.
3. be a good person. simple, but this means work hard, do right, be genuine… 

it’s by no means a definitive list, but judging by the responses i got from the group, it’s what they needed to hear. i’m going to keep working on these ideas as i continue my efforts to help someone else everyday.

p.s. - i’m back on Ohours. hit me up! http://ohr.me/msfnL1

Put your personality in your product

Those of us working in ‘tech’ love to obsess over hot innovations and cool features in the latest apps, but at the end of the day most consumer web products “win” with their overall voice and vision.*

If you look at some of the best communities - Tumblr, Foursquare, Twitter and now Bnter, Forrst and Quora - there is an instant feeling that comes with the user experience that cannot be underrated. Those applications have personality… and “personality goes a long way.”

Letting your voice come through should be easy, right?

Nope. When we built HomeField, we were “scratching our own itch” as athletes, but we knew our former coaches (the buyers) and we felt that ultimate utility and efficiency informed their purchasing decisions. Consequently, HomeField was elegant, easy to use, and efficient, but it lacked charisma. Coaches were too busy to care about witty copy and fun UX.

We were right to restrain ourselves, but it killed us to do so! I remember countless product sessions with Dan and Joe when we said “it’d be hilarious to put a link to this funny video here” or “give them a game to play while uploading.” We did it once and the customers didn’t appreciate it… at all.  :(

But now’s our chance… Shelby.tv is us. It’s the product we want now. It’s the way we want to communicate. It’s a chance for us to be ourselves, at present… not having to maintain our strength and scoring stats from college just to make a sale. [And for the record, Joe was better than all of us… ok? There I said it.]

Thinking back on it, I can’t even tell you the score of every game I played - I mean, I was a starter who took it as seriously as anyone - but I remember every prank we pulled and every laugh behind our coach’s back better than I remember the stats.

So, back to the product…

In considering the potential of Shelby, we’ve been questioned about our passion. We’ve been questioned about who we are and if Shelby speaks to our personality. We’ve been questioned as to whether or not we’re “the right guys” to build Shelby. So to quote the infamous Bill O’Reilly…

“Fuck it! We’ll do it live!”

This is our voice. This is our product. And this is our company. We know how to build products and we know how to have fun (Four Loko flipcup + karaoke… works every time).

This time around, we get to do both.

So be yourself. Hear feedback, but don’t take it as gospel. Build your product and company the way you want to. 

P.S. - I’m embedding a couple commercials we made for HomeField. We made ‘em for the Superbowl but they were rejected. Weird.

*CTO’s - please don’t get me wrong. I know that the underlying technology is paramount to the success of all products, but given comparable stacks, the one with personality will win every time.

P.P.S. - If you clicked through on every link of this post, you can star in our next rejected commercial. Email me.

My birthday wish

Last summer, I heard about an organization called Charity: Water. Their mission is to provide clean drinking water to the billion people around the planet who don’t have access to this simple necessity.

Charity: Water started when the founder, Scott Harrison, ‘gave up’ his 31st birthday by asking his friends to donate money to build wells in Uganda.

This year, for my 28th birthday, I’m asking everyone to donate to Charity: Water with me.

Most of you know that I’ve traveled around the world. I’ve seen first-hand how hard it is to get clean water in developing nations and I want to help.

As I’m turning 28 years old, I’m asking for $28 (more if you can, less + lots of promotion if you can’t ;) from everyone I know… and all of it is going to build freshwater wells for people in developing nations.

I’ve set a goal of $2,800. If we hit that, we’ll give clean drinking water to 28 families! 28 families!

I want to make my birthday matter this year and I want to do it with the help of all of you. Thanks so much for participating.

You can find my Charity: Water page here http://mycharitywater.org/reeces28

Lots of love.
reece

p.s. - My birthday is March 20. Less than a month. Let’s do it people!

Some important notes from charity: water…
A billion people in the world are living without clean water - but how much are they really living? Millions contract deadly diseases from contaminated water. 45,000 people will die this week alone. The lucky ones won’t, but still walk hours each day to get dirty water to give to their families.

Because of charity: water’s unique model, 100% of all donations go directly to direct water projects costs, and each donation is “proved” and tracked to the village it helped when projects are complete. 

New followers: Who are you?

For one reason or another, a bunch of new people have started following me on Twitter and Tumblr lately. Chances are, you’re one of ‘em… 

So my question is, who are you?

Seriously, assuming you’re not all spam-bots, drop a line in the comments or shoot me a message on Twitter.

I want to know who you are and what you’re up to. I want to know your story.

And even if you’re not new, if we’ve never chatted, say hey. That’s what Twitter is for and that’s why I’m here.

P.S. - Unlike the honey badger, I actually care.

Starting my own office hours

I recently had a chance to meet Nate Westheimer. Nate’s a busy guy, so I consider myself lucky (the meeting was arranged for me).

But there are tons of other awesome people out there - particularly in the NYC startup community - and it’s not always easy to schedule good 1 on 1 time.

Well Nate has now fixed that with Ohours.

It’s a simple app for scheduling a block of time when you’ll be available for anyone to get a piece or your mind, and if you’re quick enough, you can get a few minutes with some other stellar people like lean startup ace Vin Vacanti, UX expert Whitney Hess, or for those of you in the Bay Area, the fittest VC I know - Bryce Roberts.

I love meeting new people and tossing around ideas and advice, so I’m starting my own Ohours block. If you want to come talk startups, bootstrapping, or any other passion of yours that I can help with - just click through and schedule it.

p.s. - Nate taught himself how to code to build Ohours. Pretty badass. Thanks Nate!